Today, I’ve had a number of distractions and have been rather busy.  This is good.  I will be telling him today when I get home from work.

I’m in awe of the support that I have from various friends.  There are only three people that are aware and all have been more than supportive of my decision and, finally, have actually told me that they think it is the right thing to do.  I realize and understand why people don’t want to say “why are you with him” when you are in a relationship, but the comments that I’m now getting are interesting.  I appreciate the honesty.  It doesn’t make it less difficult to hurt someone that you care about and it isn’t like he is a bad person.

It will be tough.  But  I know it is the right thing to do.  It isn’t fair to him to constantly have doubts and to be wanting out and to be having emotional affairs.  That isn’t the person that I want to be.  We both deserve better.

How you begin that conversation?  I have no idea.  We are supposed to be packing to go visit his family.  I’m just going to tell him that I’m not going and here is the reason why.  I was given good advice recently.

  1. Allow yourself to detach from the act of telling him.  The telling is the most difficult part.  Sort of like getting your blood drawn.  You just have to detach and let it happen.
  2. Tell him with an open heart and good intent.  He will hurt, I will hurt, but I don’t have to hurt him.  And the intention is good and my heart is open.
  3. Be very gentle with myself.  Let myself cry.  Take a hot bath.  Drink some tea.  And coddle yourself.



4 comments on “Distractions

  1. AA, I really hope you’re okay and that you can handle how this all plays out. I’m worried about you. I’ve been where you are and it wasn’t easy. It took me a long time to really get closure on my ex-marriage. I really want to hear how you’re doing and hope to hear all is well, but it will take time. Understand and keep believing in yourself. I wish you all the best as you move through this difficult time. T

    • Thank you, Tricia. I appreciate your support and will let you know how things go. I know in my heart it is for the best. That doesn’t make it easy. Surprisingly, I have a very strong support network and a great counselor, so I feel confident in my ability to heal and to move forward. It is good to know that others have been here and that they are happier and have healed over time.

    • Thanks K. I had to laugh when I read your comment. Who knows what to tell someone before they embark on something like this. I’m trying to remain true to myself. I appreciate the positive thoughts. I will need them!

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